


untitled

by dreaminten



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, idk - Freeform, taeyong is depressed, trigger warning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:53:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaminten/pseuds/dreaminten
Summary: Loneliness is not a foreign feeling for Taeyong. Rather, he has experienced more often than he’d like to.





	untitled

Loneliness is not a foreign feeling for Taeyong. Rather, he has experienced more often than he’d like to.

Taeyong hates it. He hates how his chest seems to constrict tighter and tighter as the days’ pass. He hates how the empty, sinking feeling in his chest screams at him, urging him to fill the void with _something_ —anything. He hates how completely and utterly _lonely_ he is.

Most importantly, Taeyong hates how the only person he has to blame is himself. He grew into the habit of pushing the people he cared about away and spending weeks in isolation. During these periods, Taeyong tells himself that life is better alone. He lives for only himself, not having to worry about other’s expectations for him.

Taeyong likes to compare his life to a ticking clock, living day after another with the same boring routine. These days, his days seem to blur together, and he’s left wondering, “When will this be over?”

Deciding that he’s given up too many parts of himself to the sick, self-destructing desire that’s made a home out of his head, Taeyong tries to save himself. He stares into his own bloodshot eyes through the mirror and observes the darkened skin under his eyes, a clear indication of his exhaustion. He starts the day off with a smile on his sickly, pale skin. Truthfully, it’s a sorry excuse for one.

The smile he holds on his face feels rather forced, feels more of a burden than a blessing.

Taeyong tries to recall the last time he genuinely smiled as a sad attempt to mimic the joy he felt then. He tries to remember the last time his entire being shook with joy and is only met with disappointment as the last time was far too long ago to remember.

Once again, he’s left wondering when he’ll be happy again. If he’ll ever be happy.

At least he’s trying, _right?_


End file.
